


Say Something

by forevermyotp423



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 14:35:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19871242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forevermyotp423/pseuds/forevermyotp423
Summary: Yuta finally realized his self-worth.





	Say Something

**Author's Note:**

> I'm finally posting this since I definitely moved on from the heartache. You can guess which character I am in this fic.

_**Taeyong, can we talk?**_ Yuta held the hem of his best friend's shirt like his life depended on it. Taeyong looked at him with worried eyes as he snapped him out of the trance. It was then when Yuta realized that he was holding his breath the entire time he was waiting for Taeyong's response making him let out an almost choked sound. _**Yukkuri, what's wrong? Yes, of course. We can talk.**_ He said as he keeps on staring at the other with eyes full of questions and curiosity. **_Okay..._** Yuta said leading Taeyong to their secret hideout.  
  
There was an eerie silence as they settled down on the bench, not knowing who should speak up first. After a few more minutes of deafening silence, Yuta turned to Taeyong, with shoulders stiff and doe eyes that hold a lot of unspoken emotions in it. **_Tae... I.. I don't think I can do this anymore._** His voice wavered as if he's on the verge of crying. _**Yu.. Yukkuri.. What are you...?**_ Taeyong’s words were cut off as Yuta suddenly exclaimed. _ **I.. I can't pretend that I'm okay with this anymore! Tae... You always tell me that you care for me and that you miss me.. But I can never tell you the same..**_ He slowly looked up to him as the beads of tears start to cascade down from his beautiful but sad eyes. _**After all this time, I was trying to blindly convince myself that I'm fine with us being just friends even if you had confessed to me and the feeling was mutual between us. You said that you weren't planning on doing anything because you just got out from a bad relationship..**_ He paused as the lump in his throat felt suffocating. It downed into him on how much he had been bottling up these feelings in his chest.  
  
Taeyong's eyes widen and felt his chest tighten as the guilt starts to seep in through his skin. _**Yuta.. I.. I love you.. I wish we can be more than friends..**_ He said not trusting the small voice he was able to let out. An outrageous laugh booms through his ears as Yuta let out a bitter chuckle, way far from the sweet angelic laughter he usually emits. _**You love me? You love me, FRIEND?**_ Yuta's voice got one pitch higher with the amount of disbelief his words contain. _**D.. Do you even know how much it hurts when you say those words to me? It sounds like a joke to me just like how my genuine feelings for you is a joke to you. Taeyong..**_ He held onto his pained chest hitting it with his fist as he continued, **_I.. I regret liking you and confessing my feelings towards you... One moment I was high up in the sky as I've found out that I wasn't ruining our friendship because our hearts feel the same and then one morning I woke up with you treating me differently and slapping me on the face with the fact that we're friends..._ _THAT WE'RE ONLY JUST FRIENDS!_** _ **I know, from the bottom of my heart, I know that we are. But you didn't have to remind me every single damn time that it's all we're gonna be...**_ The Japanese boy broke down into a sob as he finally let out the thoughts that had been killing him to core, resulting to sleepless nights, and days full of tears as he felt himself getting emptier and emptier each day.  
  
Taeyong felt the world collapse before him as the wave of guilt and hatred towards himself hit him hard like a tsunami. He thought that they were okay, and that he was doing Yuta a favor since he can never give the love he deserves. ~~_Yuta is freaking perfect_~~ ; surpassed the boundary between a handsome man and a beautiful woman, he is the embodiment of the word _gorgeous_ ; if his physical attributes scream divine then what more is his heart? Yuta had always been so understanding, kind, and patient with him even if he had been spending lesser and lesser time with him due to personal problems. Hearing Yuta's voice after a long a day of work gives him comfort and peace. Yuta is like his _sanctuary_ , a place where he can be himself and feel safe and sound. And yet, he didn't know that he will be the one to break this magnificent creation from up above. The Yuta that is in front of him now doesn't shine like the sun anymore. He feels like an old statue, perfect on the outside but empty inside. ~~_Totally stone cold_~~ ** _._** He never replies whenever he tells him: _"I miss you", "I missed you so much", "I always miss you whenever you're gone"._  
  
While Taeyong was too absorbed on his own infectious thoughts, Yuta had calmed himself down and bit his lip hard to brace himself to what he's about to say, **_Taeyong.._** His hands tremble as he felt himself became a lost child with the lack of response from the other. _**Taeyong.**_ He called out again, voice laced with defeat. **_Say something... Taeyong... Say something... I'm giving up on you.._** Yuta had finally said it. Yuta knew that this is the only way he can save himself from losing the person that he is.  
  
Loving Taeyong is his **_"_** _once in a lifetime_ ** _",_** a chance he knew he had missed. Not because of himself, but because Taeyong wasn't ready enough to give their love a try and heal each other's wounds. Yuta had prepared himself wholeheartedly while looking forward to the day that Taeyong and him will be officially together. But the day never came and he was left in an abyss with nowhere to go. _**I'm sorry, Taeyong. For being cold and for being a bad friend. It was the only way I can protect myself from hurting further than I already am. I already accepted the fact that I'm just your friend and that's all we can ever be. But.. I don't think I can stay beside you anymore. I had been too hard and unfair to myself. It's now time to care for my well-being. I just want to be free. I loved you, Taeyong. So much that I became selfless and neglected the fact that I'm someone who deserves to be loved too. To be loved by someone who's willing to be with me and not feel insecure about everything.**_  
  
With that, _Yuta walked away_ not only from their secret hideout but also _from Taeyong’s life_ _._ Maybe in their next lifetime, they can find each other again and be two individuals who are destined to be together. Being able to love someone is a blessing but losing yourself in the process shouldn't be the way to compromise. Only when you know your self-worth that you will be able to love someone without regrets because you know that loving that person makes you a better version of yourself. You are whole and complete on your own not because the other person is the other half of you nor because the person makes you complete. You are not less of the person that you are without him/her. _Know your self-worth and love yourself._


End file.
